Time flies so fast! I did not notice that it has already been a year since that turning point in my life (heartbreak). A year that was full of many things that had happened, changes and whirlwind of emotions.
IT HAS BEEN A YEAR SINCE I STOPPED DOING A LOT OF THINGS.
I stopped crying for someone who can no longer wipe my tears away.
I stopped thinking about someone who has a mind full of everything except me.
I stopped torturing myself by hurting it everyday.
I stopped making myself miserable when I can be happy.
I stopped doing stuff that is killing me in every little way.
I stopped being unhappy.
I stopped being lonely.
I stopped questioning myself and even God why things happened this way.
I stopped searching for answers and reasons.
I stopped being Detective Conan solving the equations.
I stopped being pathetic by doing those things that people find funny.
I stopped defending myself when others already judged me without hearing what I have to say.
I stopped chasing someone who does not want to be.
I stopped caring for someone who does not need it from me.
I stopped fighting for someone who already gave up on us and me.
I stopped loving someone who already fell out of love and who no longer feel it the same way.
I stopped wanting someone who wants someone else anyway.
I stopped believing that I could not live without him when he can totally live without me.
I stopped everything that could ruin myself and my life in every single way.
I stopped everything because I deserve more than that pain, hate and misery.
BUT THE MOMENT I STOPPED ALL THESE THINGS, I STARTED TO DO SOMETHING NEW.
I started smiling for all the things that happened to me.
I started thinking about those people who care for me like my friends and family.
I started doing things that make me happy.
I started to live and appreciate life as much as I can be.
I started to laugh more often even it is corny.
I started to enjoy life to the fullest that I can be.
I started thanking God for everything He has done to me.
I started finding answers without even doing anything.
I started focusing to much more important things.
I started thinking less about what people has to say about me.
I started minding my own business and ignoring all the negativity others are throwing into me.
I started chasing the time that I missed with myself, my friends and especially my family.
I started caring more about myself.
I started fighting for what makes me happy and what I think is right.
I started loving myself and giving it the value it deserves.
I started believing that we do not need to depend to others to have a happy life. We can make it amazing even just with ourselves.
I started doing stuff that make me a better person and make my life totally wonderful.
I started everything that I can think of that is worth every breath that I take, everyday that I wake up and every challenges that I had to face just to live.
AND BECAUSE OF WHAT HAD HAPPENED EXACTLY A YEAR AGO, I LEARNED MANY THINGS ABOUT MYSELF AND MY LIFE.
I learned that I can be independent and can conquer anything.
I learned that there are people in this world that were born to love and care for me in whatever circumstances I am in.
I learned that whatever happened, my family will be there for me even if there were times I took them for granted.
I learned that in order to be happy, you need to appreciate everything and everyone even the smallest thing in the world.
I learned that you can love others if you love yourself.
I learned that you can get what you deserve if you know what your value is.
I learned that every single thing that happened in our lives has its own reasons.
I learned that the people who came in our lives have a purpose either to give us lesson or to stay for the rest of time.
I learned that people come and go so we need to prepare ourselves if one day they’ll leave.
I learned that long term relationship is not a qualification to stay together for a lifetime.
I learned that the people you loved can hurt you the worst.
I learned that the people who hurt you are not that bad at all. They are still the good and kind people you loved. Yet, they just did a bad decision.
I learned that when you love, leave something for yourself so that when they leave, you are still being loved.
I learned that hating and cursing someone are inevitable especially when you were hurt but it can only make you miserable. Find deep down in your heart to forgive and heal those wounds.
I learned to be opened to my family and friends and I shared more about my emotions and thoughts.
I learned that talking to your friends will help you a lot to feel better even if you are already pointless and annoying.
I learned that the best way to move on is that you accept that it is over.
I learned to travel more (doing solo trips), laugh more, eat more, love myself more and make myself better everyday be it in the way I dressed or the way I think or the way I act. Because I am the only one who can give it to myself better if not the best.
BUT IN BETWEEN THIS YEAR, IT HAS BEEN SO TOUGH AND ONE ROLLER COASTER RIDE.
I reached to the point that I felt hurt then I hated and cursed. Then, I felt happy and excited. Then went back to hate, hurt then happy and the cycle continued. But, things changed and got better every single day. Until, I became contented and happy. I became more confident. And I became stronger and better.
And I wanna thank every single person who arrived in my life and touched it in their own way.
To those who judged me without hearing my story, thanks for giving me the reason to care less about you and what others will think and say about me. Either I am being good or bad, you always have something bad and negative to say. So why care! 😛
To those who hurt me, thank you for letting me realize that I can be better and stronger. And that I can still forgive people even if how much they had hurt me. Even if they don’t apologize for doing it to me. That in every pain that I felt, there is always a positive thing to it and there is still something I will be grateful of.
To you, thank you very much for the happy and good memories we shared together, for the love and care you gave and for touching my life in a positive way. Things may end but I will always be grateful.
To my friends, salamat for listening, for opening my eyes to the truth, for comforting me, for bullying me, making fun of me and for whatever trips we are in. Our relationship is not perfect but you loved me even if I am too difficult to understand and to handle.
To my family, daghang salamat for the love and care. For welcoming me with your heart and open arms even if I took you for granted and missing our family day because I am out traveling. For understanding me and being patient. I will always be thankful of you. I am blessed that God gave me you.
To God, super thank you for not leaving me even a single second. You showed me everything even the worst. You led the way and made me realized about a lot of things in this life. You blessed me beyond what I deserve. You loved me unconditionally. You are there anytime of the day. I am blessed. Thanks God.
I SHARED THESE THINGS BECAUSE I WANT TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS WHO ARE HURT AND BROKEN-HEARTED THAT LIFE DOES NOT END WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE STOPPED LOVING YOU.
Your life is so precious and beautiful for you to just make it miserable by being sad and wanting someone or something you cannot have. You just have to accept that it did happen. You deserve to be happy and the only person that can give you that is yourself. If you keep on being miserable, think of all the people who wish that thing will happen to you. They will now be celebrating.
I did not say pretend to be okay when you are not. But what I am saying is that, give yourself the limitation on how long are you going to be not okay. How long are you going to cry. How long are you going to ask why. How long are you going to blame yourself. How long are you going to wish to be with him again.
But when you reached the limitation, stopped there. Then do something that can make yourself happier, better and stronger. Because if you continued being not okay, you will be in pain but not because of the person who hurt you but because of yourself. Do not reach to the point that you are the one responsible in ruining your life. You can do better than that.
Think of what had happened as a blessing. Think of the positive side. And please, stop feeling self-pity. C’mon! Do something that can make yourself proud of you.
Remember, God will not give you a challenge that you cannot conquer. Instead of asking Him why things happened, asked God why He blessed you that much.
Appreciate everyone around you. Your friends and family even strangers. Do something better for them who care and worry about you.
Never regret that it happened. If it happened that way, let it be. You cannot undo the past. But, do something now that you will be thankful for in the future.
And like any other wound, the wound in your heart may be painful but it will heal through time. And it will leave a scar, a beautiful one. Because that scar will remind you of what you’ve been through, how you survived it and how wonderful you have become.
You are beautiful and awesome! Smile and be merry. 😍