Pandemic has been really the time that I was able to reflect a lot of things about me and my life. If I would look back in the past year, my mindset has changed as well. I guess, myself itself had some renovations or improvements.
Due to this reflection, I had some mantra that I want to share. Maybe it could also apply to you. 😉
FAILURE IS NOT TRYING & REGRETTING
Actually, I developed this mindset even before the pandemic. That time when I did a big risk and decision for myself. We sometimes limit ourselves to our comfort zone and we are afraid to go beyond that because we are afraid to fail. We are afraid that our decision might not be right. That kind of feeling of failing.
But is that really what failure is? Unfortunately, no! Failing is if not trying, regretting, and having what ifs. If you are too afraid to fail so you didn’t try, you will always wonder what could have happen if you did. You will reach to the point wherein you will regret. That you should have try it. Coz if you tried it and failed or your decision was not the right one, then fine. At least you have a clear picture and result to what you aim to do.
For instance, you always want to work abroad. You left your 5-year employer and took a risk in going abroad without even an employer yet. You found one but later on, you realized that you didn’t like working away from your family. Even you were there for a year, you cannot still adjust. You are still homesick everyday and is struggling. So you decided to go back home. Your old employer may not accept you anymore but there are other companies you can apply.
That is a better decision than not doing anything, staying in your employer for another 5 or so years and wondering everyday what could have happen if you went abroad. You will always have that blurred image of what if.
DO IT ON YOUR OWN PACE
There are many pressures in the world. I guess that has been a normal and natural thing already.
When you are single, people would pressure to get one. When you are in relationship, people would pressure to get married. When you are married, people would pressure you to have a child. Good thing that no one is pressuring someone to die. I hope there is none. Really!
Anyways, do it in your own pace. Make your dreams real in your own timeline. Never let other people’s opinions affect your life. Besides, they are not the one who will go through what you need to in order for your dreams and goals real. It is you. Just you!
Also, never get envious that others have what you dreamed of. Because maybe like you, they also have dreams or goals that they are still working on. And do not let social media affects you. If it affects you negatively, leave it for a moment until you are ready to face it and not get affected.
Do what you have to do because it is what you want. Not because it is what the world ask you to.
YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR CHOICE
We are responsible for our own happiness. You cannot blame other people if your have been lonely or so. Yourself is your responsibility and your business. If eating lavish food makes you happy, then buy one. If being with your family makes you happy, then pay them a visit or go home.
Do not put the responsibility to other people. Do not rely on other people so that you will be happy. Because if that someone leaves you, you will totally become miserable. Use your energy to give the joy that you deserve. It will not always be a happy day. We will always have our blue days. But always set your mind to make yourself happy no matter what.
THINGS ARE HARD BUT CHOOSE WHAT DIFFICULTY YOUR DESERVE
I also realized this before the pandemic. I realized that everything is life can be hard. But choose the kind of hardship or difficulty you deserve. Ask yourself, “Is this what I deserve?”, “Is this what I want?”, “Is this what will make my happy?”. And also, never get to hard of yourself.
For example with work. You have become stressed out and burned out with your job. Everyday that you have to work is like a torture. You are not happy anymore. So you decided to put up a business instead. It is a difficult choice to begin with. But even how difficult it is, it makes you happy and contented. It is that kind of difficulty that you can take and that can make you smile.
CHOOSE YOUR BATTLE
In connection to choosing your difficulty, choose also the battles you have to fight. Not all battles deserve your energy. Not all battles even deserves your time. So choose wisely what to mind, to react, to fight. Afterall, you will be the one to face it and no one else.
For instance, you read negative posts online. With what’s have been happening in the world, it is inevitable that there are people who will rant or express themselves negatively. And you became bothered with that. It seems it affected you negatively as well. It gave you the negative aura. So you have the options. You can unfollow if not, unfriend that person or stop scrolling newsfeed or using social media. You have to learn the way for that negativity not to consume you and your energy.
DO NOT SEEK VALIDATION FROM OTHERS
With the widely used of social media, it has became a tool also for people to seek validation from others. How? They would post something and would check on how many reacted or commented. If no one would, they will get disappointed.
You are beautiful in your own. You are strong, smart, amazing. You do not need anyone to validate or justify that. If for them you are nothing, so be it. As long as you are something wonderful for yourself. That’s what we called self-love. Something that you yourself can give. And something others cannot give.
When you have that self-love, eventually you’ll know your self-worth. And when you knew that, you will start giving the love you deserve and being with people who see that worth. It is then the time that you will lower your bar just for the society to accept you.
Never lower yourself just to fit. If you don’t see your worth, then they don’t deserve you. They don’t have the right to tell what kind of person you are especially if they don’t know what you have been through.
And never let social media be the reference on how we look other people. What we see in social media is not always the reality. Many can hide or is hiding behind any post. Coz people would choose what they want to post. 😁
LEARN YOUR WHYs
This one I learned from my boss. Something that opened up my mind on what’s really my goal in life. Most of us would maybe say we want to give a better life for our family. Some might say to travel the world.
Try to ask yourself then, “why are you doing what you are doing now?”. “Why are you sacrificing this much now?” “What’s your goal in life?”
If you know that or have some idea, then it’s time to figure out the ways to possibly get it. There will be a lot of things. It may even take some time. But make sure that as days go by, make that WHY clearer. When it’s clearer, you have a better vision on what to do next.
LIFE IS UNCERTAIN
If there is one thing that all of us learned because of the pandemic, surely it about the uncertainty of life. Today we are healthy, the next day we can be in the hospital. Today we are laughing, the next day we are crying. Today we see our family, the next day we cannot see as well as the world.
With the virus and rapid transmission that makes thousand and millions of people got affected, life is surely uncertain. But it has always been like that ever since, yet the pandemic just made it clearer for us.
So let us do what we gonna do. And even how life is uncertain, let us not lose hope. Let us pray that God will wake us up and our family the next day, the day after that, and so on. Because in this uncertain life, there is always one certain thing. That is the love of God for us. Never forget that.
NEVER GIVE UP EVEN HOW HARD IT GETS
Honestly, I almost did this before. I even came to the point wherein I asked God why us. Again, why us. And even asked Him too that it’s already enough. Then God made me realized that we’ve been through it because we are strong. Because we can do it, we can survive from it. That made our family stayed tighter and stronger even how separated we are geographically.
I also remembered crying and hugging my sister for the first time because I got scared. My father was sick and there was something in my laboratory result. That’s after my brother went through some challenges too.
But the strength of my mother made me strong too. She’s a worried like me. She surely wasn’t able to sleep many nights out of worried or maybe figuring out what she can do. I must say, she is the strongest in the family. And when my father was sick & need to be admitted, we asked her if she’s okay, she would say that she’s fine and that we should not worry. When I think of how my mother made that strong, I knew instantly it’s because of how much she trusts and lifts up to God. When we’re questioning to God or about to give up, she would say that we just have to pray. And we never stopped since then and even before that.
And now when I think of it, I realized that it can be tiring. It is totally tiring and hard. But God will never give us some challenges we cannot survive. We can rest when we got tired. Just rest. But never quit. Never give up. Coz when you do, you lose. 😉
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE
Going through everything that we’ve been through, crying in secret for a couple of times, getting afraid to what could have happened, worrying day & night led me to a realization that I am not alone. Never am I!
I have God, that’s number 1. I talked to Him every single day though sometimes I am annoying already. He answers me in different ways.
Then I have my family. Those people who never leave me nor made me feel I am all by myself. They give me strength and my hope. And they keep me sane especially our little bugoy.
Lastly my friends. Those people who are always there for you even if you don’t communicate or meet often. Yet their presence is strong.
You too. When you feel that the world had turned their back to you, then turn to God. He will never abandon you. He just needs you to talk to Him. And He would listen willingly and wholeheartedly.
HEALTH IS IMPORTANT AND SO IS YOUR FAMILY
The greatest lesson this pandemic gave us is that health is important and our family. Taking good care of our health, making sure that we are safe, staying healthy are not just for our own self’s benefits or sake but also to our family.
Every time you get sick, your family will feel the pain too. When you are struggling, they are too.
So let us continue to be mindful and to be careful for the sake of ourself and our family.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD
This is true since then and every single day. When the world thinks that things are not possible, remember that everything is possible with God. And it may sound cliché, even impossible is saying I’m Possible.
So when you lose all your hope that things seem not to fall the way you want it or you are really really struggling, lift up to God. Talk to Him. And maybe it is not happening because it is not for you. Because you deserve a better one. You might feel the struggles because God is preparing you to become a strong person. And when you’ve become a strong person, you are now ready to face a bigger challenge with a better result.
As you do not lose your hope, do not lose your faith in God too. Nothing is impossible with Him but His plans are better than ours. Remember that. ☺️
So there… I hope I made sense and these are something that could be helpful to you too. And as I gone through these mantras, I realized that maybe I had become this person that I am now because of the challenges and struggles I have been through. Sometimes if not most of the time, the best teacher is really our real life experience.
And now, I’m working out for my goals. I’m nagging God to grant me my dream. But I need to work on it too. Well, I will do my best to make it happen. One day… 🙏🥰