Home after a long time

I have been in Cebu since 2007 where I studied college until I had my work for 6 years now. Since I was a working scholar, I have fewer chances to go home even during semestral break because we need to report for work.

For 11 years, I am not even sure if I was able to celebrate my birthday at home in the island. I think it was all spent in Cebu. But there were few times that my parents celebrated it with me & my family in Cebu.

If there are times that I can go home, the longest is maybe a week which is usually during Christmas or Holy Week.

But, things did change this year. For the first time in a very long time, I was able to go home and spend for 2 weeks at home. Not for vacation, so I am not touring around. But to rest (which what I need) after my operation.

My doctor advised me to rest for 2 weeks after we were discharged. We decided that I will go home in Siquijor so that my father can prepare foods that I am allowed to eat.

We went home last August 11 at 1PM then arrived in the island at 11PM.

For the first week at home, my mother would wake me up at around 7AM so that I can drink my medicine before breakfast then I need to take another medicine at 8AM. She would leave me hot milk that she prepared before she went to work. After eating my breakfast and drinking my medicines, I will lay down in the sala and watch any TV shows usually in ABS-CBN. I think because of the meds, I got tired easily and a few hours after, I became sleepy. When I woke up, my father already prepared our lunch and would just eat. After that, I will go back in the sala, laid down, watched TV shows until I slept. When I woke up, I would watch TV shows again while waiting for my parents to arrive from work. When they arrived, they will cook our dinner, we will eat then I will go back to my usual spot. I usually be able to take a bath in the afternoon. My life is so simple, I brushed my teeth once a day (after dinner before going to bed). HAHAHA!

My wounds were still painful then. I need to move slowly so that it won’t hurt. I found it hard to find my sleeping position because I can feel the pain. Though I have a prescribed pain reliever but I do not want to take it unless the pain is unbearable.

For my second week, the only different thing is that I can already sweep our floor and wash our dishes. And of course, the bandage was already removed and the pain was gone except the wound inside which I can still feel a little pain every now and then. But still, I cannot work or carry heavy things.

Trust me! I can memorize the TV shows in ABS-CBN from Umagang Kay Ganda until Hwayugi. In my first few days, I was watching only ABS-CBN but I asked my mother to load our digibox so that I can watch other channels. And so, I was able to watch CinemaOne, Jeepney TV, etc. Plus, my first 4 days, our mobile signal at home is so weak. So, there is no mobile data or WiFi. Thus, the only thing I can do is eat, sleep and watch TV. I find it very peaceful though. No one is bothering and I don’t have to think about problems and issues.

For the first time in years, I did not have to think about work or anything in Cebu. All I just think is what is the ending of Bagani or what will happen to Mich in Araw Gabi. And I thank my officemates for understanding my situation.

People would describe me as laagan because I keep on traveling or it’s hard for me to stay at home when I am in Cebu. But while I was in Siquijor, the only times I went outside the house were when we went to church, when I needed to go to my mother’s office so that I can send an email for work, and when we fetched & sent my sister when she went home. Aside from that, I was stuck at home. I did not even had the chance to visit my aunt’s and uncle’s houses just a few meters away from ours.

But things will end. I need to face the world again. I need to work hard. I need to live again like I used to few days before my medical leave. But, I have the chance to meet my family & friends in Cebu. And, I can plan for another trip again either for work or leisure.

However, I already have in my mind the want to stay in the island. For good. Maybe not today nor tomorrow nor next month. But in a few years time when I can support myself even I am at home.

Why I love to be in Siquijor? Simply because it is home. I can be with my parents and the rest of the family. I don’t have to be in a hurry because I am not running after the time. I don’t have to deal and struggle with traffic and pollution. I can eat a meal even without buying foods. I am home. And this is where I wanna be. Always.

So, yeah. Maybe one day. But for now, I need to be strong and healthy again. To face everyone! 🙂

A week in the Hospital

I have been traveling a lot lately. But, I did not expect to end my trip in the hospital. Who want it that, right? But ya know! Things happen when you least expect it. And sometimes, things happen because it is the result of what you do with your life.

Anyway, this is not the first time that I have been confined in the hospital. Actually, it’s my third time. First was in Perpetual Succour Hospital last October 2009 for Appendectomy, next was in Chong Hua Hospital last November 2017 for Gastritis and this year in Cebu Doctor’s University Hospital for Gallbladder Removal (LapChole). And in between that were my few trips to the hospital for check up and laboratory tests since I was in grade school. And most of my complains were due to stomach pain. Yes! Been struggling that since I was young. Different types of stomach pain.

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I have a love-hate relationship with needles for years now.

I was in Davao when I complained of too much stomach pain and I was already vomiting. I thought it was another hyper acidity attack but it did not react to the meds that I took. Two days suffering the pain until I called my mother and told her about it. And just like another mother, she panicked and went to Cebu early morning the next day (Saturday). I told her that I want to be confined because I can no longer take the pain.

Just wanna thank my officemates in Davao for taking care of me while I was sick.

My mother arrived in Cebu earlier than me (I was traveling from Davao). My sister just picked me up from the airport and we went to the hospital after we left my stuff at home.

Unfortunately, my doctor was out of the country. But, maybe it was a blessing in disguise because we found another Internal Medicine Specialist, Dr. Pek Eng Lim. He did not recommend for confinement since we need to check the lab test result first. He advised me to get an ultrasound.

Fast forward >>>

The ultrasound result showed that the cholesterol polyp grew from 0.3 (from May) to 0.4cm. Thanks to all the yummy fatty foods I ate.

When we got back to him, he recommended to undergo an operation the sooner the better before things get worst (before the polyp will fall inside the tube). And yes, we scheduled it after series of lab tests has been completed as clearance.

A long list of laboratory tests that I need to get. And 5 vials that I need to fill.

If I am to compare my operation way back last 2009 and this year, it was easier and faster for me to prepare myself last 2009 because I was in so much pain. I was confined when I suffered stomachache and when I had my check up in the E.R., I was then advised to undergo an operation before my appendix will rupture. I was not given any pain reliever and I was like the one who wanted the operation to be done immediately.

But this year is different, I had weeks (from July 24 when we decided to undergo an operation to August 5 when I was admitted) to prepare myself and think about what’s gonna happen. Plus, the pain was gone already. I am no longer suffering from it. If only it was not that urgent to remove the gallbladder, then I won’t pursue with the operation. But, I have fear everyday that I may be able to eat something that could worsen it.

I was admitted last August 5 and was supposedly scheduled for an operation on August 6 but the Operating Room was full in the morning and there is surcharge fee in the afternoon because it’s holiday. Thus, I was scheduled on August 7.

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Checked in.

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My baon in the hospital. Later did I know that I am not allowed to eat these. 

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While waiting for my operation, got to do some work while watching Vice Ganda with an IV on my hand.

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Few hours before my operation.

Since July 24 until August 7, I was scared and worried if what could happen, if I can take it or if I can survive. I was never 100% ready. I was nervous when the OR nurse picked me up from my room. My mother went with me in the OR but she’s only allowed until the reception area.

8:00AM

I was brought inside Operating Room #6. The nurses prepared everything. They placed monitoring thing on my chest, a Blood Pressure kit on my right hand that will automatically get my BP every 5 or 10 minutes. Wrapped each of my legs with elastic bandage then with another thing so that I cannot move.

The nurses where getting in and out the room while I keep on checking the time and hoping that the doctors will arrive and get it done.

8:35AM

Dr. Don Edward Rosello, my laparoscopy surgeon (recommended by Dr. Lim) arrived and told me that the anesthesiologist still has a patient and will be there once done.

8:45AM

Dr. Stephen Aldrich Alsay, my anesthesiologist arrived together with his team. He told me, “matulog na ta mam ha” (we will sleep) then injected the anesthesia through my IV. Then he kept on waving the oxygen in front of my face saying, “mam, oxygen ni siya, medyo lain ang baho” (mam, this is an oxygen and smells a little bad). Then I looked in the clock on the wall, it’s 8:45.

9:15AM

The nurse woke me up, “mam, humana ta” (mam, we’re done). Though my eyes were still closed, but I can already talk. I asked her if what time is it. Malyn, my OR attending nurse replied “9:15AM mam”.

The next thing I said was “palihog ko og picture sa akong gallbladder” (please take a photo of my gallbladder) then the nurse informed the others about my request. Then I remembered raising my hand while calling Malyn and I said, “palihog ko og ingon ni Mama” (please tell my mother).

But the moment I woke up, it is still so clear to me about my dream (if it was a dream) while I was asleep. It seems that I was watching them doing the operation. I saw a group of people inside a room with a bright light. Then, when the nurse woke me up, I can remember that I looked at my wounds and I saw three small tapes (like a double sided tape) on my stomach.

The next thing I knew, I was already in the recovery room. I tried to open my eyes but it’s blurry and everything was not clear and seems to be moving in circles. I said out loud “thank you, Lord” a couple of times. Then, I kept on raising my hand telling them that my nose is itchy then they told me that I can take off the oxygen mask and scratch it. I kept on telling them also to inform my mother because I know how worried she was. It was like she will be the one who will undergo the operation. And I asked the nurse why my throat is itchy. She told me that it was normal because they inserted a tube where the gas passes through. When I checked my wounds, the plasters are different from the one that I saw in my dream. It was indeed a dream. 🙂

Then I asked the nurse if how long I will be staying, she said “2 hours”. I tried to sleep until 2 hours became 1 hour then became 30 minutes then the time came that I will go back to my room. The oxygen was removed 1 hour after I arrived in the recovery room but the other monitor and BP kit were removed when I was about to be transferred back to my room.

I was so excited to go back because first, I want my mother & whoever is there waiting for me to know that it was successful, second is that it’s kinda uncomfortable already staying in the recovery room trying to sleep, hearing other patients’ complains or waiting for the time, and lastly, I wanna pee but the nurse told me that if I will pee in the recovery room, they will provide a bed pan. I can’t imagine urinating in the bed pan. I am not even sure if I can. Hahaha.

When I got back to my room, I heard a few familiar voices of my friends and family. They were waiting patiently for me. From then on, many came to visit, to check on me by sending me a messages, to pray for my safe operation and fast recovery, to bring me foods, to make me laugh, to show that they care, and so on & so forth.

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They were waiting for me in my room while the operation is on going.

I have been posting ever since I was visiting the hospital for lab tests and for check up at my doctor’s clinic. Until I was confined, undergone the operation, started my recovery and until I was discharged. Maybe because a life in the hospital is kinda boring. You’re just lying on the hospital bed waiting for the foods to be served, watching any shows in the TV, being checked and injected with meds by the nurses and doctors, and being asked by them if how many times did you poop, pee, drink water & fart (which I all found hard to answer because I did not count).

And also because I am grateful. Actually, I am so grateful to everyone. This is the only way I can thank all of you for your care and concern.

THANK YOU

First, to all those who sent a message of encouragement, well wishes and prayers via Facebook, Instagram, Viber, Call and Text from all over the world. Naka boost siya og courage para makuhaan ang kakulba. Many to mention kaayo! Hehe.

Diri sad nako na proved nga laagan jud ko. Kay daghan jud nag message nga “paayo na kay ang laag”. Hahaha. Lagi oi. Daghan jud unta naghulat. Pero, they can all wait. Haha.

Thanks also to these kiddos, my happy pill.

Second, to all those who kept on checking and monitoring if naunsa nako. Nangumusta if naunsa ang operation and if okay na ko. Di nalang nako i-mention inyoang names. But, you know who you are. 🙂

Third, to all those who spent time to visit bisan layo kaayo ug nangdalikyat lang sa lunch break. Ang uban, naay mga lakaw or walay tulog kay gikan work. Bern, April, Ante Juana, Lovely, Mam Mae, Che, Tolits, Pao, Jack, Kevin, Sir Arvie, Sir Neil, Justine, Justin, Jay, Mai, Jen, Jove, Mam Ging, Irene, Maldita. Salamat.

Fourth, to all my family, friends and friends that became family – Lenares Clan, Calimpon Familia, The Jerusalems, Fujitsu VMBU Familia, and Tropang Laagan.

Fifth, kang Mama ug Ate nga kauban nako since Sunday ug way tarung tulog kay sigeg atiman nako ug sigeg assist labi na mag CR and lisod ibangon or higda, kang Coleen nga nibantay pag Sunday ug nilami jud ang rasyon tungod sa complain nimo 😂, kang Ante Clara & Uncle Dodo nga maoy nag uban namo ug ni Mama ug naghatod foods, kang Uncle Romy na sigeg monitor even before ko naadmit, kang Ante Bibing, Uncle Joe, Ante Fe ug Kenn sa help, kang Uncle Jepur ug Papa Panyong para sa foods, sa three Musketeers (Toj, Chinkee, Tatay) nga everyday nagbantay.

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First two photos: mura jud og namili sa grocery.

Third photo: inana jud na sila kagutom nagbantay sa akoa. Haha!

Sixth, to Cebu Doctor University Hospital nurses especially sa assigned nurse nako, Nurse Station IV-A nurses, Operating Room & Recovery Room nurses, resident doctors and interns, housekeeping, dietician dept. ug kang Sister. Daghan kaayo musulod sa room everyday to check sa vital signs pati ang pee, poo & fart, maghatag meds, mangumusta ug bisan nindot ang tulog muanha na sila, mamukaw kay ting meds na. Thank you.

Seventh, thanks to my doctors and their teams nga always sad naga check and monitor sa akoa. Dr. Pek Eng Lim (Internal Medicine), Dr. Don Edward Rosello (Laparoscopy Surgeon), and Dr. Stephen Aldrich Alsay (Anesthesiologist). I have the best doctors, indeed.

Eight and last, my biggest thanks to God. Since July 24 to August 7 (before my operation), di jud ko 100% ready and gikulbaan ko. But, I lift everything to God. I have a stronger and bigger God so I know wala koy dapat iworry. After the operation, I really said out loud “Thank you, Lord”. And even I was in the recovery room, I kept on thanking Him. Everything was successful and safe because He was there with me.

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Again, THANK YOU TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!

Room 435 now signing off.

Travel by agency or by DIY

When you travel, how you usually plan? What are your preparations? Who do you contact to? Do you prefer to book by the agency or do it on your own?

So what do I mean by traveling by agency? It is booking your whole trip through an agency. Mostly, they will book for your plane tickets, transportation in going around and hotel accommodation. They will also prepare your itinerary and book for tours. Usually, it will only include city tour. Meals are usually not included.

How about the DIY or Do it Your Own? It is you planning the whole trip. You will book for your tickets, hotel accommodations, tours and prepare the itinerary. You plan for your budget, too.

In my case, I tried both. But all my international trips were do it your own, we planned and booked everything. However, I tried booking by an agency when we traveled here in the country, I guess once or twice. They picked us up from the airport, sent to our hotel, toured around, then sent back to the airport.

But which is which? What you should choose? What is the difference?

Choosing how to travel is easy. But, it will always depend on you. What is comfortable for you. What do you prefer. It is up to you.

I will try to list down some pros and cons.

TRAVEL BY AGENCY

When traveling with agency, everything is being planned and settled by the agent. Of course, you are paying for that.

  • Pros
    • Hassle-free and convenient
      • Since the agency will do everything for you, then all you have to prepare is the stuff that you will be bringing during your trip.
      • During the trip, they will coordinate everything for you. All you have to do is enjoy and follow their guidelines & instructions.
      • You don’t have to fall in a long line. They will provide you the tickets.
      • You don’t have to wait for the bus or train or any public vehicles just to get to your destination. They will provide you a vehicle (usually a tourist bus).
      • You don’t need to worry where to eat coz they will bring you there.
    • More informed
      • You will be advised on the do’s and don’ts.
      • You will know about the rules of the places you will be visiting.
      • You will be informed on the story and whatever information related to the place you will go which includes history.
    • Zero to less possibility of getting lost
      • You have less chance of getting lost since there is a guide accompanying you the whole time.
      • They will take you and accompany you wherever you will go. Besides, they will not leave the place if you are not complete.
  • Cons
    • Expensive
      • It is more expensive to hire an agency than doing everything on your own. Of course, you are paying for their services and efforts.
    • Not so flexible
      • Because everything is planned and booked by them, you have to follow the itinerary that they made for you. Though, sometimes you can tell them on what you want so that they can adjust. But, there will be rate difference.
      • Also, travel time is limited. Mostly, it will fall on weekdays. You will be lucky if you can get a not-so expensive tour package that falls on a weekend.
    • Be time conscious
      • Since they arranged it for you and they will follow an itinerary, you have to be time conscious. They will really follow the time as schedule so that they can accommodate the itinerary.
    • And if you are a joiner, there will be many of you in the trip. You have to cooperate with them. You need to be patient and understanding.

And remember, you have to make sure that you are dealing with a legit travel agency since you are paying a large amount of money especially most of the time, they required a down payment. Actually, I did try to book an international trip through an agency. Supposedly for October 2018, and we were able to pay the down payment of Php 1,000 each. However, when I contacted them to ask something, they did not respond. And when I checked online for reviews, I did read bad and negative feedback. That’s why, right there and then, I sent them an email that we are cancelling the reservation. I don’t care spending the Php 1,000 to nothing than spending more and being scammed. You know what I mean, right?

So, it’s your money. Thus, make sure that you entrust it to trustworthy people. You did not pick up anywhere and so, it is okay to throw it. But, you worked hard to earn that. It’s your call who to trust. So, do research before you regret.

TRAVEL BY DIY

  • Pros
    • Flexibility
      • You have the freedom to choose what you want and where to go. You can really plan according to what you desire. Also, if things will fall not according to your plan, it will be okay since you can easily adjust.
    • Cheaper and can be on your budget
      • It is cheaper to travel based on your own itinerary because you can also budget wisely.
      • You don’t have to pay for the services thus, it will lessen your expenses.
    • You have all the time for yourself.
      • You do not have to follow schedule if you want. You can go whenever and wherever you want. You do not have to worry if you will wake up late.
    • You have the chance to meet and make new friends.
      • Since you are traveling on your own and mostly commuting, you have the tendency to meet more people. In this way, you can make new friends too.
  • Cons
    • More effort
      • It will need more effort from you to do all the planning, researching and booking. You need to read and ask about the place you are going to so that you can have an idea on how the trip will go.
    • More hassle
      • It is more hassle because you need to do it your on own on how to get to the destination you want.
      • You have to ask if possible the ways on getting somewhere.
    • Possibility of getting lost
      • Since you will be commuting if possible, there are chances that you will be lost. Practice your ability to talk to strangers and ask. Fight that shyness away.

Whichever you prefer will matter. You have to set your expectations. You need to anticipate what could possibly go wrong or what might happen.

In traveling through an agency, as I mentioned, you have to make sure that you are dealing with a legit agency. You worked hard for your money and thus, you should make sure that you are spending it appropriately and wisely. Plus, it’s your trip that you paid for so make sure also that you will be enjoying.

While in traveling by DIY, it is a lot of work but if you really love to do it, you will surely enjoy. All my international trips were DIY including my solo trip in Taiwan though there are tours that I bought via agency like Klook Travel. But, I planned and booked everything. I read blogs and researched as much as that I can to make sure I am gonna do right. And yeah! I did enjoy all my trips. Every trip will end with a lesson that I can learn and apply on my next and future trips.

And honestly, I am enjoying it. Will be travelling solo again few months from now.

Hoping that you will have a fun and good time on your trips too. Either you are availing a package by an agency or doing it on your own, make sure that you have a trip that is one for the book and you will love to cherish for life. 😉

 

Is being single selfish?

When you are in love, you tend to give almost if not everything to the person you love. Even if it means not leaving something for yourself. And sometimes, you can no longer give something to your family and friends. Your family who has been with you since day 1 and who sacrificed to give you the best. Your friends who are always there for you even in their busy days.

But, things changed when you get hurt. You will start to hear from your family and friends telling you to always leave something for yourself and not to give your all. And you will come into your senses. You will then realize that they are right. While you gave everything to your girlfriend/boyfriend, you forgot to gave even a little thing for yourself and the people who truly love you. Sometimes, we need to learn the hard way. We need to have a wake up call. And most of the time, that wake up call is what we called “breakup”.

Breakup is that moment when we want to cry all our heart out because of the pain, we want to punch someone because we are angry and we feel sad and pity for our self. We become miserable because we let it happen. We let everything to be taken from us. And when s/he decided to leave us, we have nothing with us. We are empty. We are lonely. And again, we are miserable.

But, good thing we have family and friends who are still very much willing to accept us, to welcome us with an open arms, to be the shoulder where we can lean on, to hug us & let us cry, and to never leave us & feel that emptiness & loneliness. Because when we thought that we are alone because s/he left us, we will realize that we are wrong. We are not alone. We were never been alone and will never be. Because of our family and friends.

And with their help, we will be able to stand up again, to live our life the way we used to, to be happy, to be contented and to give more importance to ourselves and to them.

That is the time that we usually start to enjoy our own company, to do what we want to, to achieve what we missed because we’re busy with him/her, and so on and so forth.

Until, we get used to being all by ourselves, living & fulfilling our own dreams, being happy without depending from anyone, getting satisfied with what and who we have, and being an independent person we thought we cannot do.

Then, as days go by, people will be curious about you, your life and most especially with your love life. They will start asking you have suitors or new partner. They will tease you for being single and that you did not move on yet. As what I said, moving on takes time and should not be rushed. You have to take your time and make sure you are pretty doing well. The important thing about moving on is that you are really moving forward and will never look back again.

And I guess, this is happening to me. I am enjoying my own company. I am happy without depending it to others. I am contented with what I have and who I am with (my family and friends). I realize that I should give myself and those people who love me more time. That time I failed to give them when I was in relationship. And, I don’t know but sometimes I feel that I am becoming an introvert person who wants to be all by herself. That’s why I have solo trip.

Above all, I think having a boyfriend would mean no freedom and a hindrance to whatever plans I have in mind.

Am I being selfish? Is being single selfish?

I think no. You know why? Because wanting to love yourself more and giving more time do not qualify you to be selfish. It only means you want to give the importance and value that yourself deserves.

Besides, I love the idea of being all by myself without the need to think about other person. If I want to go out, I can. I don’t need to ask permission or inform my partner. If I want to be with someone, I don’t need to tell it to my partner and see if he is okay with it. If I want to travel, I can book my ticket immediately without thinking if he wants it too. If I want to go home, I can relax without worrying that I cannot text or call or chat because there is no signal. If my parents are in the city, I don’t need to ask him to meet them as well. No one will get mad because I cannot text. No one will get mad because I forgot to celebrate our monthsary or anniversary. I can live each day in peace because I don’t need to think if where is he or who is he with or what is he doing and so on.

If I am single, my time is all mine. I can do what I want. I can eat where I want. I can go anywhere I want. I can go home every time that I want. I can treat my parents out anytime. I can buy what I want. And I don’t have to feel guilty that someone is paying for the food I ate, the plane ticket, the trip, the movie ticket, the dessert or anything that he paid for me. I can pay it for myself though. HAHAHA!

Being single means, being independent. You are responsible of yourself and no one is or will be. You earn your own money and survive from it. You pay what you purchase from the hours you work for. You buy plane tickets, book a hotel room, eat in a restaurant, watch a movie, play in the arcade. You have to work to earn and do these things.

But, it is always up to you. You have your own priority list. You budget your money the way you want it to be.

And maybe, that’s why I am single. Because aside from the fact that I am enjoying my own company, I am busy with work, I don’t have time for boyfriend. I think having one will mean that my freedom will be gone. Dating means that I should give him my time. That I should have someone to think of, to care about and to understand. And having a boyfriend means that I can do what I want if he allows me to. Which is I don’t like. Having a boyfriend could hinder my plans in life. And besides, I don’t want to be told that I bought something or I traveled somewhere because of my boyfriend.

Hell yeah! I am earning my own money and gonna spend it for that without the help of any boyfriend.

And also, the most important thing is that I don’t like to have a boyfriend because I don’t want drama. I am too sick of crying, getting hurt and being judged by people who do not know what is really going on.

Yeah! You get it right. Whatever I went through did really hit me hard on my head and really made me wake up to the reality. That my perception about having someone in my life is different now. In a not so good way. And maybe, I am not yet ready. Not yet ready to meet someone, spend & open up my life to him, and end up getting hurt again.

But, that is life. You have happy days and lonely times. But when you feel down and want to give up, look up. Then, tell yourself that you can do better than feel miserable. You are an awesome person and that your sunshine gives light & happiness to others.

If there is one person who hurt you that much, it does not mean that everyone will do. If your ex did hurt you, it does not mean others will hurt you that way too. However, it does not mean that having no partner makes you a loser. Be in a relationship if you are ready and you think that you find the one.

But, for me! I still haven’t. Or still don’t have time for boyfriend now. Besides, no one shows some admiration and no one confesses yet. Maybe, not that attractive though. LOL! 🙂

So, remember. Loving yourself and choosing to be single is not selfish. It means that you are strong enough to live and be happy on your own without depending from others. That you are contented to what yourself can give you. That you don’t have to be insecure because yourself is more than enough to make the butterflies in your stomach fly.

TO ALL THE SINGLES OUT THERE, BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU ARE READY. NOT BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE ONE OR YOU ARE BEING PRESSURED. LOVE TAKES TIME. ENJOY THE JOURNEY OF FINDING THE ONE. AND WHEN YOU MEET HIM, EMBRACE THE MOMENT & LIVE WITH IT UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

You are never alone

I have been reading a lot about suicide in social media, nowadays. A few months and weeks back were famous celebrities, a couple of days ago was a teacher and today, I just read a 14-year old boy from my hometown. A few years ago, we heard someone committed suicide from India (if you watched 3 idiots), China, Korea (Korean movies), and Japan. But, it surprised me that there are already suicide cases in the Philippines. Philippines has been considered a country with people who are smiling even if they have problems. Filipinos are happy people. But, we can never tell.

Why kill yourself?

We can never blame them if they did what they did. We were never in their shoes. We never knew what they’ve been through. Thus, never judged.

But most cases, if someone committed suicide, it’s either about a failed relationship personal problems or depression.

Depression, anxiety & mental disorder. What are these? And how bad these can ruin someone?

When I googled it, this is what I found.

According to Pyschiatry.org, depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act.

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.”

A mental illness is a disease that causes mild to severe disturbances in thought and/or behavior, resulting in an inability to cope with life’s ordinary demands and routines. (based on Mental Health America)

I have friends who experienced depression or anxiety. Good thing, they were able to fight and survive against it.

I, myself have a shared experience as well. I am not sure if it was depression or anxiety. But one thing is for sure, it was not normal and not okay. A few years back, there were times when my phone would ring, I would panic and don’t like to answer it. If I will answer it, my heart will beat so fast. And there were instances that I could hear my phone rings even if it did not.

Then, there were times that I don’t understand my feeling. I want to cry, to laugh and to be sad in one setting. I had that “malayo ang tingin” but I was not looking on a specific thing nor thinking anything. I want to eat something delicious but I could not appreciate it.

How did I overcome it?

I have a good support system. I have family and friends (let me put some credit also to my then-boyfriend who helped me a lot in his little way). They never leave me. My family even if I am not that open because I don’t want them to worry but I know I can share to them. I can complain to them about anything. My friends tried hard to make me laugh. They met me even at late hour of the night just to make me feel better.

And above all, I have God and His presence. I am blessed, indeed in different ways.

I am not used to open up about what I feel to anyone before. And it is really hard and painful at the same time. That feeling where your heart is about to explode because of pain and sadness. And sometimes, you will feel self pity.

So, what did I do?

I write poems and whatever thoughts I have in mind to my phone. Anything. If I am sad or happy or hurt. I make sure that I can express everything. And after that, it feels good. Because you know, sharing and opening up can make you feel better. It can lessen the weight your heart is carrying. You can release whatever load that burdens you.

And trust me, I thought about that before. But, I thought about my family and most especially, suicide is a mortal sin. And I don’t want to commit that sin. I don’t want to disappoint God. I asked for His forgiveness of even thinking about that. I may not be 100% good but I still want to be in heaven.

And part of His commandments is “Thou shall not kill”. If we think about that as killing other people before, then now include yourself. Killing yourself is as worst as killing someone.

But, as what I said above, we can never blame someone if they resort in killing themselves. Because sometimes, we might think there is no other way but to die.

And when I heard in the news or Facebook that someone committed suicide, I always tell myself if only those wasted life can be given to those people who are fighting day and night, heaven and earth to extend their lives. For example, cancer patients, kids at the ICU, those sick who want to live longer on earth but can’t. But life does not work that way. Life comes just once. And it is up to us to choose how to live with it and how to care for it. Once you waste it, it can never be taken back.

That leads me to writing about this blog post. Actually, I was inspired by the talk of Isabelle Daza about depression, anxiety & mental disorder awareness. It was very short but it was straight to the point. And she said that many wanted to talk to her about depression, anxiety & mental disorder and the common denominator of all those people was that “they are ashamed to talk about it”. You can watch it here #LetsTalkLetsListen

I guess that is why suicide was become an option because when someone is experiencing depression, anxiety or mental disorder, they will feel ashamed to talk about it or to open up about it. Maybe because they do not want to be judged and called crazy or insane. They do not want to be laughed about or a topic of joke. They do not want to deal with it. Or maybe because they cannot accept it to themselves that they have it.

But how can we help?

Let us be more sensitive. Depression, anxiety & mental disorder can be experienced by anyone at anytime and at any place.

Let us be more considerate and empathetic. If someone will open up something about themselves whether it is about work, family, relationship, mental, spiritual or physical; then let us give them time. Let us listen to what they have to say. We were given two ears by God so that we will listen more than talk. Let us lend our ears and heart to them. Think of their situation as yours. Would it make you happy if someone will listen to you or not?

Let us stop judging people and giving unsolicited conclusions without knowing everything. Let us know the details and instead of giving negative comments, let us find a way to make them feel better. Treat them for dinner, tell them corny jokes, sing with them at the KTV, watch movie or talk about anything under the sun & moon.

Let us act as a human with a heart. Give them your love and care. Give them your understanding. Show to them that they are loved.

And most importantly, let us show to them that they are never alone. In this journey called life, we are never alone. We always have someone with us. They may be beside us physically or not, but we are not alone. Let them remember that. No man is an island, as they say. And so we need each other. Thus, let us be there for each other.

Depression, anxiety & mental disorder are not an easy thing to handle. It will never be. But it can be cured. You can be better. You can feel better. Just keep in mind that someone out there is waiting for you to open up to her/him. All you need is to give them a call or a message.

There are many reasons to be depressed and to kill yourself. The world is not perfect. The life is sometimes complicated. And some people are judgmental. But, you have one reason not to kill yourself. Just one. And you know what is that? You are loved. Thus, you are never alone.

God is always with us. He is there watching on what we are going through. He knows everything we think and feel. He will not give us a trial that we can never survive. Above all, He loves us yesterday, today and tomorrow. Even if how sinful we are.

So, when you are going through something, tell your family, call your friends, write everything on a piece of paper, shout, cry, laugh, release all the negativity, post on your Facebook wall that you need to talk to someone or rant there what you are thinking. Do not mind what the negative things people will say as long as you will feel better. For sure, one or two of your Facebook friends would send you a message and ask if how are you. Go to the gym, punch something (ayaw lang sad tao), eat your heart out, sing, dance, have a massage or go to the mall and window shop.

Look for a way to make yourself feel better. Do not let the negativity win over you. You are better than whatever problems the world will throw you.

Always remember. You are never alone. 🙂

P.S. You can leave a comment if you want to talk and make yourself feel better. Hooray!

Am I a good friend?

Did it come to a point wherein you ask yourself if you have been a good friend? If you were able to do what a friend should. Or if you were really there for them.

Sometimes, I did really ask that. Not just once but a couple of times.

My friends will always be important to me. Especially my closest ones. I will always treasure the moments we shared together, our ups and downs, the joy and sadness, and even our fights and arguments.

I did my best to make us complete and strong. But, there will always be challenges. Sometimes, it would make you stronger but at times, it will destroy you.

It feels disappointing and sad if the latter will happen especially if you have been friends for a long time. However, we can never insist. We can never force something. Because time will sometimes come that you have no other thing to do but set them free. It is not giving up but rather it is giving them happiness.

But people as we are, we will never be perfect. We will really fail. We commit mistake. We will hurt each other. But the question there is what’s next? What you will do after you fail, commit mistake and hurt others? Should you just sit there and wait for the owl’s eyes to turn to white (as they say hahaha)? Or you will do something?

What you will do will depend on the value of these people. On what your point of view. On how deep you understand. And on how much you accept things especially your mistakes.

However, pride will do you no good. In whatever relationship, this should not be on top. We must all lessen our pride. We must know how to eat it. And we must learn to own up and accept our mistakes. Because only in acceptance that we can learn to face them again.

When you value them enough, you will not wait too long to make things clear and settle everything. Because the sad part will be if both of you are no longer have the willingness to settle what should be settled.

At the end of the day, what should you all have is communication. You talk. You discuss. You confront. You might say whatever as long as you are being honest. But as a friend, you should also know how to be open-minded.

True friends will not sugarcoat. They will tell you the truth. It might hurt you but it is for your own good. You should know that. Do not misinterpret it with something. If you do not understand then ask. Do not conclude without verification.

But going back to the question if I am a good friend. Only them can tell. However, it hit me now that I do not want drama and I hope they understand that. I have enough with my own life and it is kinda tiring. I do not want to stress out myself on petty stuff.

So, to my friends, my apology because I do not have time to ride on your whirlwind of emotions. I will listen if you want someone to talk to. I will meet you if you need some companion. I will give my opinion if you want my advice.

However, I have a favor. Tell straight on my face if you have a problem with me. I will never be the perfect or best friend you will ever have. But I will just be true. As true and as honest that I can be.

My presence might not be visible these days but remember, I am always here for you. You know my mobile number, my social media accounts and even my address (both office and home). You can always call me. As what the song says, “I’m only one call away. I’ll be there to save the day.”

I might not be able to totally save your day. But, I will be there to give you company, a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen to whatever that you want to say.

I might not be able to be a good friend you all deserve. But know that I tried my best. Love you all. :*

Carnaza Island with #TropangLaagan

Carnaza Island is located in Daanbantayan. It became known this past few months and many tourists are coming in the island.

How to get there

🚌 Take a bus or van going to Maya/Bagay from Cebu North Bus Terminal to Tapilon Port or near the area. The van fare is Php 200 per person. (I am not sure though how much is the bus fare.) The travel time is 3-4 hours.

⛵️From Tapilon Port, take a boat to Carnaza Island. I am not sure also with the boat schedule. If I am not wrong, the first trip is at 7AM. The fare is Php 200 per person and the travel time is 2 hours.

🛵Usually the boat will directly go to Carnaza Eco Park. However if it will not go there, you can ride a habal-habal from wherever it will dock. The fare is Php 20.

There are many places in the island that offer a place to stay. But, most of the tourists will go directly to Carnaza Eco Park and will stay there.

CARNAZA ECO PARK Once you get there, you will be told to go directly the office for the registration. You also need to pay Php 200 per person as an entrance fee. If you will be staying there, you also need to pay Php 50 per tent (if you will use your tent), Php 200 per wood tent, and there are rooms also for rent.

The island’s electricity is only available from 6PM to 6AM. There is a common charging station for guests which those who stay in the tents can use. The rooms have their own power outlet.

Once we arrived in the eco park, we settled and had lunch. While the boys were swimming, we were just chillin.

After that, we had our day tour. For the tour, you can choose to tour the island either by boat or by motorcycle. The fee is Php 150 per person.

FIRST STOP (I am not sure if Ka Gorio is the name)

But, we did not stay there because there were many tourists.

SKULL COVE Our next stop is the Skull Cove. But before you can see its beauty, you need to trek.

And this is Skull Cove 💀

Psalms Restaurant Before heading to our next and last destination and while waiting for the sunset, we went to Psalms Restaurant for fresh buko juice and mango shake coz it was really hot that afternoon. 😀

Kailina After a couple of minutes resting while drinking buko juice & mango shake and chatting, we decided to go to our last stop, Kailina. It is a private beach with an entrance fee of Php 20 per person.

Before we can enjoy the beach, we need to climb up for a couple of steps.

Yet, all the walking was worth it. Because what awaited us there was completely wonderful. A long stretch of white sand beach, a crystal clear water and a quiet, relaxing place. Guests can also bring their own tent and stay there overnight. But for us, we were just there to enjoy the beach, take pictures and witness the golden hour.

We then headed back to the ecopark. Our motorcycle drivers were already waiting at the entrance to Kailina.

And the perfect way to end the night?

Playing power card game while drinking Empe (sila lang, wa koy apil 😂), chatting, laughing and putting lipstick on our faces (punishment for the power card game).

Me & my friends have simple joy. We don’t need fancy & luxurious stuff to have fun, which I really love. And making fun of each other is one of them. Even if we look like a clown. 😜😊

Anyway, a short stay in Carnaza Island was made possible through the efforts of Toj (for more info, check his blog at Byahe ni Toj). Thanks toj! 😍

Indeed, it was another fun and memorable weekend getaway for the group. Meeting new friends, discovering new places and making new memories.

IN THE FIRST PLACE, I have the best companion which made the weekend amazing. 😀

I know, you wanna go to Carnaza Island too. Why not check some tips below.

1. You have the option to take the bus or van to Tapilon Port. Just make sure that you inform the driver or conductor where you’re heading.

2. The earlier you travel, the better. Since the boat trips are limited, make sure you arrive at the port early. You can ask the locals how you can cross to the island as they can help you too.

3. If you’re staying overnight at the ecopark, reserve ahead your room or tent. Otherwise, you can also bring your own tent.

4. Buy water and drinks from Tapilon since the supply in the ecopark is limited.

5. You can buy foods in the ecopark (canned goods, noodles, bbq, rice) or order from Psalms Restaurant.

6. You can tour the island either by motorcycle or by boat. The rate is the same (Php 150 per person). Just approach the drivers at the parking near the ecopark.

7. The electricity is from 6PM to 6AM only.

8. Bring and apply sunblock for protection especially it can be totally hot nowadays.

9. No ATM in the island (as far as I know) so bring extra cash.

10. Follow the rule. Leave nothing but footprints. Take nothing but pictures. Kill nothing but time. Let us all help protect the environment.

BY THE WAY, MOBILE SIGNAL IN THE ISLAND IS WEAK AND NOT RELIABLE SO MAKE SURE THAT YOU INFORM YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ESPECIALLY YOUR GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND ABOUT IT. (kay makaguba jud siyag relasyon haha!)

YOU WILL REALLY DISCONNECT FROM THE WORLD OF SOCIAL MEDIA AND TEXT MESSAGING. INSTEAD, YOU WILL CONNECT WITH THE PEOPLE YOU ARE TRAVELING WITH, FELLOW TOURISTS, LOCALS AND NATURE. IT IS A PERFECT TIME TO RELAX. 😉

Meet Carnaza Island and its friendly people now. 😉🙈👣

25 hours in Sagada

I always want to visit Sagada especially when I heard and read stories from friends, family and bloggers/travelers. But, getting there takes more time and patience. Plus, I am not sure if it is safe to travel because of the zigzag roads.

But the amazing stories pushed me more to fulfill this plan. And so, when I have a travel in Manila, I took the opportunity to visit Sagada on the weekend before my schedule. When my cousin knew about it, she also wanted to go. And so, together with my cousin, aunt and uncle, we all went to Sagada on a Friday night.

HOW TO GET THERE

There are many ways you can get to Sagada.

Their terminal is at HM Transport Terminal, Monte De Piedad St., corner Maryland St., Cubao, Quezon City.  Below are the schedules and fares based on their website.

     From Quezon City to Sagada
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From Sagada to Quezon Citycoda lines2.JPG

   

It is best to book online ahead of your trip so that you can secure a seat. There are bus stops along the way.

  • Bus to Baguio City then Bus to Sagada

Another way is to take a bus from Manila to Baguio then take another bus to Sagada. One of the bus lines that will go to Baguio is the Victory Liner which you can also book a ticket online. Travel time is 5-6 hours to Baguio and another 5-6 hours to Sagada.

There is an hourly trip from either Cubao, Pasay or Sampaloc to Baguio City.

From Baguio City, you can take a bus to Sagada either by GL or Lizardo Bus.

    From Baguio City to Manila

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  • Bus to Banaue then Bus to Sagada
  • Bus to Bontoc then Jeep to Sagada

BELOW ARE THE SCHEDULES FROM SAGADA

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You may check Pinay Solo Backpacker‘s Sagada Blog for the detailed information on how to get to Sagada.

HOW TO GET AROUND

  • By foot

Most of the tourist spots, restaurants, souvenir shops and hotels/inns in Sagada can be reached by walking. It is better to do it this way to enjoy the view. Also, it will not be that tiring because of the cold air.

  • By jeepney

You can also take a jeepney to go from one place to another. Just make sure to ask if it will pass your destination.

  • By renting a vehicle

Their Information Center can help you rent a vehicle to tour you around or even take you to neighboring towns.

WHAT TO DO IN SAGADA

When you visit Sagada, you will notice that their tours are being regulated by the Local Government Unit. Once you arrived, you need to pay a one-time Environmental Fee of Php 40 at the Information Center where you will also register your names, contact details and the place you will be staying. Always bring the receipt of the Environmental Fee as this will be needed during your tour. They will also provide you a guide and information about Sagada.

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If you want to have a tour, make sure to coordinate and book it with the in-charge in the Information Center. They regulated it that all tours must have a tour guide.

Below are the different tours that you can try in Sagada.

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OUR EXPERIENCE

Once we arrived in Sagada, we directly went to the Information Center, paid the registration fee and registered. Then we scheduled a tour for the day. We chose the Adventure Trail for the Echo Valley Walking Tour and Kiltepan Sunrise the next day.

We checked in first at Masferre Inn and Restaurant

There are many inns and hotels in Sagada that you can choose from. You may check it with Agoda, Booking.com and other hotel apps.

After we got settled and changed, we then headed back to the Information Center where we met our tour guide.

And the Adventure Trail began…

Church of St. Mary the Virgin

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Echo Valley

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TREKKING

UNDERGROUND RIVER

FOREST & CAVE

FIELD

WATERFALLS (BOKONG NATURAL SWIMMING POOL)

After the 3-hour Adventure Trail, we were so hungry and dying to have our lunch. Our guide called the driver and pick us up after walking for who knows how many steps up from Bokong Falls.

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We then went to GAIA CAFE AND CRAFTS SAGADA for lunch. They offer purely vegetarian foods, no additional seasonings, and that Sagada beer.

It was raining when we got there. By the way, this is where Mace & Anthony in That Thing Called Tadhana had their breakfast.

The place is so beautiful. It is an overlooking of the hills and trees. Everything is green, making it so relaxing.

After that, the driver picked us and sent us back to the hotel. We then rested and eventually, had a nap. We will supposedly go to Lake Danum for the Sunset but it was raining the whole afternoon.

And so, we went out later that night to buy for some pasalubong and souvenir. There are many souvenir shops in the area. If you are staying in Masferre, they have their own souvenir and pasalubong store. Also, there are shops across the inn.

Once done with all the shopping, we headed to LOG CABIN CAFE SAGADA to have our dinner. We tried their buffet dinner for Php 500 each. You need to pay for a reservation fee of Php 200 each. Dinner starts at 7PM. Below is the menu for the night.

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The foods are delicious and healthy especially the chicken and chocolate mousse. The chef is a foreigner. I am not sure if his French.

Then, we called it a day. Slept early because we need to wake up early for the sunrise.

Day 2

The guide/driver called me around 3AM asking if we were ready. And since we were not yet, he said that he will go back. At around 4AM, we went to the Information Center (which was closed that time and so we stayed outside with 13 or 14 degrees Celsius) and waited for the driver. He arrived almost 5AM then we directly headed to Kiltepan Peak.

When we arrived, many tourists were already there taking pictures, drinking coffee, chatting, etc. We then went to look for a place perfect to capture Mr. Sun. Luckily, we did find one.

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EXPECTATION: YOU ARE ALONE WITH THIS VIEW.

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REALITY: MANY TOURISTS WERE CAPTURING THE SAME THING TOO.

The estimated sunrise that day was at 5:40AM. Mr. Sun showed at 5:45AM. Everything was magical. I barely witnessed sunrise since I am not a morning person. That’s why I was very amazed. It’s like the mountains were giving birth to something and the sun is the baby.

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I have a time-lapse video of the sunrise but unfortunately, I cannot post it here yet because of some WordPress plan thing. I am just going to share it in my FB page.

Then, we went back to the inn and had our breakfast.

We packed our stuff and went to the bus station for Baguio City. If you checked the schedule above, first trip is at 5AM, second trip is at 7AM then hourly until 10AM. The afternoon trips are at 1PM and 5PM. The travel time is 5-6 hours and the fare is Php 220.

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This is the line for the 9AM bus trip.

That sums up our 25-hour tour (plus 24 hours travel time) in Sagada. It was short but still the looong trip is worth it. With all the fresh & cold air, beautiful environment, the trees, the hanging coffins, the river, the cave, the fields, the clouds, the sunrise, the people, the temperature, the foods and being away from the hustle & bustle of the city. It is indeed a good breath-taker and refresh before starting another busy week.

If you asked me why this is where the broken hearts go in That Thing Called Tadhana? I will copy my answer in my FB page when a friend asked me. Just need to translate it to English! Hahaha!

Didto muadto ang broken hearts kay bugnaw ang lugar (pareha kabugnaw sa love life niya), nindot isyagit (isyagit ang loneliness ug pain), mingaw (mas mingaw pa sa iyang life nga wala na siya). Pero didto niya makita ang kanindot sa world (ma remind siya na naa pay mas nindot kaysa gugmang nahumana ug naa pay daghang nindot diring kalibutana), healthy foods (which is kailangan niya para healthy siya) ug fresh air (pang refresh sa iyang life na nahimong toxic tungod sa iyaang ex). LOL! HAHAHA. 😂😜😁

TRANSLATION (please bear with me! HAHAHA):

The broken hearts will go to Sagada because the place is cold (as cold as one’s love life), good place to shout (shout all the loneliness and pain), quiet (much quieter than one’s life when the ex is gone). BUT! In Sagada, one will find how beautiful the world is (s/he will be reminded that there is more beautiful than a love that has ended and there are more beautiful things in this world), healthy foods (which one needs to be healthy) and fresh air (to refresh one’s life that became toxic because of her/his ex). LOL! HAHAHA. 😂😜😁
Well… there are more beautiful things in Sagada that one should visit. Not just because you are lonely or brokenhearted. But be in Sagada for the nature, for the wonders, for the foods, for the people and for the experience that you can write in your book of life. In fact, there are many foreigners in Sagada (more than we would expect).

If you are planning to visit Sagada, here are some tips.

  1. Travel time is too long. Make sure that you are okay with the long trip. Mostly, it takes 12-13 hours to get there by bus. I am not sure if there is another way though than land travel.
  2. Book ahead your seats in the bus because bus going directly to Sagada is not hourly and the trips & seats are limited. You can book online though.
  3. Bring foods during the trip. It might be difficult for you to buy somewhere when you get hungry during the trip. Remember, it is night time and stores might be closed already. However, there will be bus stops but usually at dawn for the driver to have some coffee break.
  4. There are many inns and hotels you can choose from in Sagada. You may book it in advance. Best to choose those near the Information Center where every tour will start, there are many restaurants & shops around.
  5. DO NOT FORGET to drop by the Information Center once you arrived in Sagada. Pay and register.
  6. There tours are regulated and required tour guide so book one if you want.
  7. Bring water during the tour. You will definitely be thirsty  and you might not be able to pass a store. Bring also a biscuit with you in case it will take longer.
  8. FOLLOW THE RULE. Leave nothing but footprints. Take nothing but photos. Kill nothing but time. So never leave your garbage anywhere. Never take the stones or leaves or fruits. And definitely, never kill the animals that you will find there. It is there home so pay some respect.
  9. There is an ATM in the Information Center if you need to withdraw.  But it is only one machine (I am not sure if it is DBP or PNB).
  10. If you will be going to Baguio after, be early at the bus station especially during weekend where more people are going there. Remember that the trips are limited. Otherwise, you have to stay an extra night.

And one more thing, enjoy your stay in Sagada. Capture as much as you want. Cherish every moment. And relax too. Leave the stresses in the city. Just spend your time with nature. It is totally worth it and fun. 😉

How to move on from an almost 9-year relationship?

Yes! The title is right. It was almost 9 years (8 years & 7 months to be exact). Yes, it was that long. And some would say, “sayang”. But things happened for a reason. It might take a longer time for you to know that you’re not for each other but the important thing is you don’t end up to someone that is not for you. Well, God has His own way to make things right and do the right things. Way better than what we can think and what we planned for.

Anyway, what happened has happened and there are things that we just need to accept, let go and move on. Stop the blame because each of you has its own flaw.

I am hesitant to write it here but I’ve got a lot of question about it since day 1. Like day after we broke up. So, I’m gonna share it as it might help others.

So, how did I move on?

Since day 1 until today which is a year and a month later, if we talked about exes, I usually got that question if I already moved on and how did I move on.

I tell you! Moving on is not an easy process. It is not something you can just sleep the night away and things will be okay & normal the next day. It is waaaaay harder, complicated and a looooong process. The process for each person is different from the other. As much as the pain and what had happened are unique from each other.

But how?

First step is always acceptance. If you read my previous blogpost and Facebook status, I always mentioned about acceptance. You can not move forward from something if you still keep on longing and hoping about it. You will keep on going back to where were you before the breakup happened. Those happy memories that you want to remember and the feeling of love that you want to hold on to. But you are over, and that is what you should face and accept.

However, accepting something that you don’t want in the first place is very difficult. Sometimes, it takes time and you should do it in your own pace.

But, what made me realize and helped to make it faster than the usual? I realized that what had happened is more than enough for us to let go of each other and move forward. And that I am already hurting myself which I don’t deserve at all. I don’t want to hurt myself. Not anymore.

I accepted that we were over. I accepted that things will be different and that I need to live each day without him. I did it before he arrived in my life and so I can do it now that he is gone.

Second thing is be open of what you feel to the people who love you. After we broke up, the first few people who knew about it were my friend, my officemate and my sister. As much as I want to keep it private and to myself, I can’t. I need to express what I felt before it will explode and ruin myself. And so I did. Until I shared to the rest of my family, friends, officemates and even random people who showed some care and concern. Well, there were also some people who just chatted me to ask and verify. I cannot lie. Not anymore so I answered them but not that detailed. My family, friends and officemates helped me a lot. With all the advices, time they spent to listen to me, bullies, jokes, food trip and night out.

Everything got lighter as days go by.

Third is find some diversion. You need to spend your time if possible, keep busy always so that you can stop thinking about him and the both of you. Do something you love, sleep if you want, eat somewhere, hang out with your family or friends, and have fun with yourself. For myself, the timing was so right because I was traveling almost every week plus there were many invitations of dinner or travel. I was really occupied that made me at least forgot what happened.

Fourth, know your self worth. In short, love yourself. The moment you will know what is your worth and learn to value it, you will start to have reference on how should someone treat you. And by then, you will start to love yourself. A love that you deserve. One of the positive things that I got from it was I knew my self worth. I know how should I be treated and what kind of guy/man should I have in the future. And more than that, I feel contented even if I am single because I get enough love from the people around me plus myself.

Fifth is be happy. Every time you are angry, lonely and miserable; you wasted a time of your life. And a time wasted will never be taken back. Before we broke up, I was a miserable and lonely person who cried silently and tried to smile even if I am not okay. When we broke up, I cannot feel anything. I did not even cry. But later on, I felt very angry. Until, I felt my heavy heart. Then I realized, it’s no longer okay. And so, I did everything to make myself happy. And today, I can be happy even if I am alone. Because it should be like that. We should not rely our happiness to someone. So that if they will be gone one day, you can still live a happy life. Also, learn to forgive. You cannot hate him forever because s/he has also done something wonderful in your life.

Sixth is be positive and be grateful. It might not be a good thing that happened. But look on a brighter side. What is the positive effect. And when you figured it out, be thankful that it happened and that things will be better. As what they say, “once a door closes, another door will open”. If not, the window will open of you. It ended because it is not for you and to give way to something better that will arrive. You can’t have two things in one time, that’s why you have to let one go. And don’t forget to be grateful always.

Seventh is stand up. Remember that there is a rainbow always after the rain. So you cannot just be weak and hurt for the rest of your life. You can cry and be sad. Yes! But should not be for a long time. Just enough to let the pain and anger be released. After that, stand up again and face the world with a better, wiser and stronger you.

Lastly, God is with us. I am not that super religious. I can even missed a mass. But, I really don’t know why God blessed me a lot. From the day that it happened to the heartbreaking day to the daily life from day 1 until today, he showed to me everything. And all I can do is thank Him. He surely does not leave us. We are never alone and will never be. Because God is with us, 24/7 and no day off. So talk to Him always.

Did I move one?

Honestly speaking, I cannot tell if I do 100 percent. But what I am sure of is that I am totally happy now. I have goals in life that I am excited to achieve. I stopped hating and being angry with them. I even greeted him during Christmas Day which I got mixed reactions. Some said it’s a wrong move because he might think I want to chase him. But I did that because I don’t want grudges though he might be so angry with me (which I don’t know). And for the spirit of Christmas. While others congratulated me because I’m being a brave girl.

I haven’t seen him yet after that but if it may happen, I know I can already smile and say hi. We might not be the “friend” thing but we can consider ourselves acquaintances with good memories shared together in the past.

It doesn’t matter to me if I totally moved on or not. What’s important to me now is that I am happy, contented and blessed. And one thing is for sure, we can no longer be together or be like we were before. Things did absolutely change.

Somebody even asked me, “do you still love him?” My answer is simple, “you cannot unlove someone. But the intensity of your love will be changed. It will lessen until you will just have a love for a friend.”

But how would you know if you moved on?

I don’t know. Haha. I haven’t tried before though.

Maybe, if you don’t feel anything about that person. If s/he doesn’t matter to you and you don’t care what s/he is up to. You are happy with yourself. You are living a life. You open your heart again to someone.

Whatever it is. If you have your heart broken, please fix it before being with someone. Don’t put the burden of fixing yourself to him or her. Enjoy being single. Do what you cannot do before. Glue all the broken pieces back. Prepare for what will happen. And when it happens, you know you are in a better position and whatever lessons you learned before will be of use now.

And now you know why I am single. 😜

Of course, aside from the fact that no one is interested in me, I am living a life now. But if you wanna treat me to some food trip, I’ll be glad. Though I can’t promise if I am free because my schedule is sometimes busy. As busy as someone who cannot sleep. Hahaha! 😀

Hope this post can help you in a little way. Remember, you are not alone. But every broken-heart has a different cause and different remedy. The process might be long or short but there will be no shortcut. You have to face and definitely, you are going to survive. You are brave! Don’t forget that. 😉

P.S. If you read my hugot and stuff like that, please be informed that it is not related to moving on. Haha! I just don’t know why I have many hugot. 🙈😁

Weekend in Siargao

Have you watched the movie Siargao? Jericho, Erich and Jasmine did a really good job there. However, what’s the best part about the movie? The location. It did define and show how beautiful Siargao. It might be getting famous these days yet you can still find yourself getting relax.

Right after watched the movie alone, I decided to buy a plane ticket to the island. I kinda missed it and so excited to see it. I have been there last May 2018 with some close people. But this time would be different as I will be traveling on my own.

Anyway, on my first visit to the island, everything was planned in advance. The place to stay, the tour to get, the island hopping boatman, etc. There were unforeseen circumstances but still we were able to handle it. We were really following the itinerary so that we can go all those places listed.

However, the trip this year is totally different. First, though I did book ahead of time the place where I will be staying, the difference is that the people I am sharing the room with. I booked a bed in a dorm type room of 3 pax. When I contacted the owner, she said that I am with a guy and a girl. But, when I got there, I found out that I am sharing it with 2 foreign guys. Yes! You read it right. Not just one but two guys. Imagine what would my mother will react if she knew it. Good thing, she didn’t know about it unless she will read my blog. HAHAHA!

I was staying in a newly opened Morrocan-inspired inn which is called Riad Masaya. I love this place. It is like a home away from home. Where the owners (Manuela, Vanessa and Jonas) and staff (Ate Inday & her family) were very accommodating, nice and helpful. They made my stay so relaxing and fun. They even let me used their bicycle for free, invited to have lunch with them and gave me a free ride to Boardwalk.

 

Second, I did not follow an itinerary. Though I planned it a little and even have activities in my mind but still I am not pressured to follow everything. Everything was flexible. Let’s start with a delayed flight. It was about an hour delay. And supposedly I will be joining an island hopping tour that will leave at 10AM. Unfortunately, I was still on my way to the hotel that time. Thus, I just requested for a refund of my down payment. Then, what did I do? I went to Bravo Beach Resort and had my brunch. I was able to stroll their beach after my lunch.

 

I went back to the inn and took a nap. I haven’t seen my roommates yet. They were both out the whole day. In the afternoon, the owner let me used their bicycle. I went to Boardwalk, took some photos and strolled around. Then, I joined a beach cleanup that was facilitated by S.E.A Movement (Siargao Environmental Awareness Movement). Then, I rode the bike after that and went back to the island inn.

When I got back, I changed and chill for awhile then decided to go to Harana Surf Resort for the dinner. I love the ambiance, the excellent customer service and of course, the delicious foods.

Then that’s how my day 1 in Siargao went.

However, I woke up in the middle of my sleep at around 3AM because of my drunk roommate who just arrived back in the hotel. He was shouting and cursing until I guess everyone in the hotel awoke. He was calling the owner and complaining about who knows it even existed. Maybe he had a bad time wherever he went that night. And I was just lying on my bed and waiting what might happen. I am also waiting what my other roommate will do. Good thing! The staff was able to handle it and ended that guest leaving the hotel. Then the rain poured. And I was able to go back to sleep after chatting with Ate Inday and the other guests in the lobby. #disaster #oddsOfDormTypeRoom HAHAHA!

The next day, I was greeted by my other roommate and we chatted about the incident for a few minuted.

Anyway, I was scheduled to surf that morning. I would supposedly it on day 1 but it was low tide in the afternoon. Jonas offered me a free ride to the Boardwalk and suggested to go to Oh, Wow Surf. And I did.

I met Joe (who happened to be a cousin of my friend which I found when I am back in Cebu) and John then, left my stuff. The next thing happened was that I was surfing. It was my second time but it’s kinda different in Mati. I did not go through the basic lesson but we directly had a ride.

The difference with Mati is that there are more people in Siargao compared in Mati. Thus, sometimes you could hit other surfers or something. But it is easier to surf in Siargao than in Mati. The waves in Siargao is calmer and consistent. I know it’s for the beginners.

Anyway, both is awesome and I did enjoy either in Siargao or Mati. That’s the important thing. 😀

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Chill na lang kay humana. Hehe

Meet Joe (left) & John (right) of Oh,Wow Surf!

Joe is the instructor while John is the photographer.

Me & my surf board. 🙂

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Beautiful and calm place ❤

Then I had my breakfast at Arka Hayahay then went back to the inn, changed and was invited for a lunch with the staff. The whole afternoon was spent chilling and sleeping. 😋

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Breakfast at Arka Hayahay

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Companion for the afternoon 🙂

When I was about to go out for dinner, I met another guest, Joy. She’s from Manila. We chatted for a few minutes before our trike arrived and went on a separate resorts. She went to Bravo Beach Resort and I went to Kermit Surf Resort.

When I got there, the restaurant is full. I was second or third on the waiting list. And their waiting time is about an hour. Yes. That’s how in demand the place is. I was told that I can wait in the bar and order a drink or pizza. I ordered Avocado Shake. It was served on a mason jar with a bamboo straw.

After an hour, I was approached by the staff and was asked if it is okay with me if I share the table with other customers, and that’s not a problem though. So, we shared the long table (they were 3 women) and I am alone. Hehe.

The restaurant is so busy. The staff is moving fast coping up with the orders of the customers. While the customers are busy talking, eating and taking photo of their orders.

 

I then met Joy after at the Boardwalk then we went back in the inn where again we were chilling. Manuela did invite me to join her and her friends hanging out but I had an early flight the next day.

I was picked up by the van the next day as early as 7AM and travelled for almost an hour to Sayak Airport. And directly went to the office when I arrived in Cebu coz I have a meeting. 😀

TIPS

  1. Many tourists are coming to Siargao. Thus, hotels get fully booked easily. So, if you’re going to the island, make sure that you book ahead unless you want to spend extra time and effort looking for a place to stay. Or worst, pay an extra amount for a bed.
  2. If you are choosing to stay in a dorm type room but does not want to be mixed with other gender, make sure to book an exclusive all-male or all-female room. However, I am not sure if there is a hotel offering that.
  3. If you are coming to the island by air, you can book an airport service for Php 300 to pick you up. The airport is about an hour to General Luna where most of the hotels and resorts can be found.
  4. Commuting within Siargao is kinda expensive. At least you have to pay for Php 20 per way in getting to where you want to be. And so, if you know how to drive a motorcycle, it is better to hire one during your stay. Aside from saving, you have the flexibility of going to wherever in the island. Or you can rent a bicycle. You can save and get fit at the same time. Plus, it is fun. 🙂
  5. I found an ATM in the town proper. It is kinda far if you are staying near the Boardwalk. However, some resorts and restaurants do accept credit card. Though it is still best to bring cash.
  6. There are resorts who organized different tours in the island. Be it the island hopping, Sugba Lagoon or Magpupungko Pool. You can reach My Siargao Guide or Kermit Surf Resort.
  7. Night out activity is present as well in the island. You can ask the hotel staff if where will it be.
  8. If you want to surf, you can find many surfing instructors offering their service in Boardwalk. The rate is Php 500 for one-hour surf board rental and instructor, Php 300 for the photographer and Php 300 for the catcher.
  9. If you want to explore the Boardwalk, there is an entrance fee of Php 50 per person so take all the pictures you want and spend more time to make it sulit.
  10. Foods in the island might be expensive but if you can cook, choose to stay in an inn or hotel where you can cook. It will make you save and let you eat what you really want.