I have been reading a lot about suicide in social media, nowadays. A few months and weeks back were famous celebrities, a couple of days ago was a teacher and today, I just read a 14-year old boy from my hometown. A few years ago, we heard someone committed suicide from India (if you watched 3 idiots), China, Korea (Korean movies), and Japan. But, it surprised me that there are already suicide cases in the Philippines. Philippines has been considered a country with people who are smiling even if they have problems. Filipinos are happy people. But, we can never tell.
Why kill yourself?
We can never blame them if they did what they did. We were never in their shoes. We never knew what they’ve been through. Thus, never judged.
But most cases, if someone committed suicide, it’s either about a failed relationship personal problems or depression.
Depression, anxiety & mental disorder. What are these? And how bad these can ruin someone?
When I googled it, this is what I found.
According to Pyschiatry.org, depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act.
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.”
A mental illness is a disease that causes mild to severe disturbances in thought and/or behavior, resulting in an inability to cope with life’s ordinary demands and routines. (based on Mental Health America)
I have friends who experienced depression or anxiety. Good thing, they were able to fight and survive against it.
I, myself have a shared experience as well. I am not sure if it was depression or anxiety. But one thing is for sure, it was not normal and not okay. A few years back, there were times when my phone would ring, I would panic and don’t like to answer it. If I will answer it, my heart will beat so fast. And there were instances that I could hear my phone rings even if it did not.
Then, there were times that I don’t understand my feeling. I want to cry, to laugh and to be sad in one setting. I had that “malayo ang tingin” but I was not looking on a specific thing nor thinking anything. I want to eat something delicious but I could not appreciate it.
How did I overcome it?
I have a good support system. I have family and friends (let me put some credit also to my then-boyfriend who helped me a lot in his little way). They never leave me. My family even if I am not that open because I don’t want them to worry but I know I can share to them. I can complain to them about anything. My friends tried hard to make me laugh. They met me even at late hour of the night just to make me feel better.
And above all, I have God and His presence. I am blessed, indeed in different ways.
I am not used to open up about what I feel to anyone before. And it is really hard and painful at the same time. That feeling where your heart is about to explode because of pain and sadness. And sometimes, you will feel self pity.
So, what did I do?
I write poems and whatever thoughts I have in mind to my phone. Anything. If I am sad or happy or hurt. I make sure that I can express everything. And after that, it feels good. Because you know, sharing and opening up can make you feel better. It can lessen the weight your heart is carrying. You can release whatever load that burdens you.
And trust me, I thought about that before. But, I thought about my family and most especially, suicide is a mortal sin. And I don’t want to commit that sin. I don’t want to disappoint God. I asked for His forgiveness of even thinking about that. I may not be 100% good but I still want to be in heaven.
And part of His commandments is “Thou shall not kill”. If we think about that as killing other people before, then now include yourself. Killing yourself is as worst as killing someone.
But, as what I said above, we can never blame someone if they resort in killing themselves. Because sometimes, we might think there is no other way but to die.
And when I heard in the news or Facebook that someone committed suicide, I always tell myself if only those wasted life can be given to those people who are fighting day and night, heaven and earth to extend their lives. For example, cancer patients, kids at the ICU, those sick who want to live longer on earth but can’t. But life does not work that way. Life comes just once. And it is up to us to choose how to live with it and how to care for it. Once you waste it, it can never be taken back.
That leads me to writing about this blog post. Actually, I was inspired by the talk of Isabelle Daza about depression, anxiety & mental disorder awareness. It was very short but it was straight to the point. And she said that many wanted to talk to her about depression, anxiety & mental disorder and the common denominator of all those people was that “they are ashamed to talk about it”. You can watch it here #LetsTalkLetsListen
I guess that is why suicide was become an option because when someone is experiencing depression, anxiety or mental disorder, they will feel ashamed to talk about it or to open up about it. Maybe because they do not want to be judged and called crazy or insane. They do not want to be laughed about or a topic of joke. They do not want to deal with it. Or maybe because they cannot accept it to themselves that they have it.
But how can we help?
Let us be more sensitive. Depression, anxiety & mental disorder can be experienced by anyone at anytime and at any place.
Let us be more considerate and empathetic. If someone will open up something about themselves whether it is about work, family, relationship, mental, spiritual or physical; then let us give them time. Let us listen to what they have to say. We were given two ears by God so that we will listen more than talk. Let us lend our ears and heart to them. Think of their situation as yours. Would it make you happy if someone will listen to you or not?
Let us stop judging people and giving unsolicited conclusions without knowing everything. Let us know the details and instead of giving negative comments, let us find a way to make them feel better. Treat them for dinner, tell them corny jokes, sing with them at the KTV, watch movie or talk about anything under the sun & moon.
Let us act as a human with a heart. Give them your love and care. Give them your understanding. Show to them that they are loved.
And most importantly, let us show to them that they are never alone. In this journey called life, we are never alone. We always have someone with us. They may be beside us physically or not, but we are not alone. Let them remember that. No man is an island, as they say. And so we need each other. Thus, let us be there for each other.
Depression, anxiety & mental disorder are not an easy thing to handle. It will never be. But it can be cured. You can be better. You can feel better. Just keep in mind that someone out there is waiting for you to open up to her/him. All you need is to give them a call or a message.
There are many reasons to be depressed and to kill yourself. The world is not perfect. The life is sometimes complicated. And some people are judgmental. But, you have one reason not to kill yourself. Just one. And you know what is that? You are loved. Thus, you are never alone.
God is always with us. He is there watching on what we are going through. He knows everything we think and feel. He will not give us a trial that we can never survive. Above all, He loves us yesterday, today and tomorrow. Even if how sinful we are.
So, when you are going through something, tell your family, call your friends, write everything on a piece of paper, shout, cry, laugh, release all the negativity, post on your Facebook wall that you need to talk to someone or rant there what you are thinking. Do not mind what the negative things people will say as long as you will feel better. For sure, one or two of your Facebook friends would send you a message and ask if how are you. Go to the gym, punch something (ayaw lang sad tao), eat your heart out, sing, dance, have a massage or go to the mall and window shop.
Look for a way to make yourself feel better. Do not let the negativity win over you. You are better than whatever problems the world will throw you.
Always remember. You are never alone. 🙂
P.S. You can leave a comment if you want to talk and make yourself feel better. Hooray!